Monthly Archives: November 2011

What Are You Willing to Do? – Put your money where your mouth is!

I woke up in such a funk on Sunday.  As I rolled over and pulled up the covers, I felt a little down.  Thoughts flashed through my mind.  I hadn’t felt like this in a long time and I couldn’t figure out why I was feeling blue.  The feeling lingered most of the day.  I was gentle with myself.  I ordered a pizza and lounged around, watching classic movies.  I thought about the marketplace.  I did better than I expected though I didn’t hit my target.  I didn’t feel any exuberance or delight just relief that it was over.  By the end of the day, I recognized that I was feeling empty.  For the last month, I was focused on preparing for the marketplace.  I surprised myself with the amount of time and energy I readily poured into that project and now it’s over.  What will I focus on next?  Do I need a project to keep feelings of emptiness at bay?

Monday was better.  I started tidying the house and mentally reviewing the marketplace experience. People that I knew stopped by hoping I had photographs.  I didn’t.  I was surprised that the scarves were the big sellers.  I sold 2 sets of photo decal dishes and a sushi platter I painted years earlier. Read the rest of this entry


What Do You Want? – Dream Big!

October was an intense month for me.   I went through two very important realizations.  I already talked about my lesson in “What Do You Want to Do?”  Before that lesson began I was in the beginning stage of learning “What Do You Want?”

You might wonder what the difference is.  I’ve learned that; “What Do You Want to Do?” is the question to ask yourself when a decision needs to be made that results in an action and “Want Do You Want?” is the question to ask yourself when you think about your life and what you want to achieve.  “What Do You Want?” isn’t about attaining the latest material gadgets, tech toys and fashions nor is it a mechanism for doing harm or seeking revenge.

“What Do You Want?” is a question about your dreams (day & wildest,) your desires, your fantasies, and your wishes.  It’s about the idea that gives you pleasure to think about, that raises your level of excitement and makes your energy soar.  “What Do You Want?” is the most impossible, improbable, least likely dream that could ever come true.

There’s more to it than just having a dream or wish.  It begins with an idea, an image of something that we want more than anything in the world.  Next we have to believe that we deserve to have what we want.  For some of us, we might have a problem with that belief. Believing that we deserve to have what we want is hampered by low self-esteem.  We have to know that we are worthy.  We have to be willing to go to the depths of our wounds and false beliefs to find the truth that will free us and help us realize our dreams.  This isn’t an easy or quick task.  It’s taken me years, to remember what I’d long forgotten, what had been tucked away in my sub-conscious, wreaking havoc on my life without my being consciously aware of its reign of terror.  As these wounds reveal themselves, I face them then turn them around into positive lessons and move on.  I can only conclude that I’ve arrived at that point in consciousness where I can now begin to acknowledge and manifest my dreams.  Finally, we have to believe that any dream can come true. Read the rest of this entry

What Do You Want to Do? – The affect of “should” on my life.

I’ve heard the question “What do you want to do?” at various times in my life.  I’ve been asked by family, friends, potential employers, prognosticators, and suitors.  In a job interview, I would give the appropriate response in order to get the job.  Whenever I was asked “what do you want to do” in regards to my life, my response never wavered;  “I don’t know. I can’t feel my heart. I don’t know what my heart’s desire is. I know I want to be happy.”  Those may have been my responses but I knew what I wanted to do.  I didn’t think I could do what I wanted because it didn’t fit the accepted life models that had been set before me.

There are widely accepted beliefs on how we’re to “live” our lives.  These beliefs are generally known as “shoulds.”   We are bombarded with “shoulds” almost as soon as we leave the womb.   By the time I was 10 years old, I knew that for all the decisions I would make in my life,  it would always be a choice between “what I wanted to do” and what I believed I “should” do.  By the time I was a young adult, I no longer consciously thought about “should.”  I’d gotten so use to it’s presence that it was like breathing.  Breathing happens without our having to think about it or consciously will ourselves to do it. That’s how “should” operates in our life.  It affects our choices whether we know it or not.  That is an aspect of “should” that I wasn’t aware of but it began to reveal itself, a few weeks ago Read the rest of this entry

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