What Do You Want? – Dream Big!

October was an intense month for me.   I went through two very important realizations.  I already talked about my lesson in “What Do You Want to Do?”  Before that lesson began I was in the beginning stage of learning “What Do You Want?”

You might wonder what the difference is.  I’ve learned that; “What Do You Want to Do?” is the question to ask yourself when a decision needs to be made that results in an action and “Want Do You Want?” is the question to ask yourself when you think about your life and what you want to achieve.  “What Do You Want?” isn’t about attaining the latest material gadgets, tech toys and fashions nor is it a mechanism for doing harm or seeking revenge.

“What Do You Want?” is a question about your dreams (day & wildest,) your desires, your fantasies, and your wishes.  It’s about the idea that gives you pleasure to think about, that raises your level of excitement and makes your energy soar.  “What Do You Want?” is the most impossible, improbable, least likely dream that could ever come true.

There’s more to it than just having a dream or wish.  It begins with an idea, an image of something that we want more than anything in the world.  Next we have to believe that we deserve to have what we want.  For some of us, we might have a problem with that belief. Believing that we deserve to have what we want is hampered by low self-esteem.  We have to know that we are worthy.  We have to be willing to go to the depths of our wounds and false beliefs to find the truth that will free us and help us realize our dreams.  This isn’t an easy or quick task.  It’s taken me years, to remember what I’d long forgotten, what had been tucked away in my sub-conscious, wreaking havoc on my life without my being consciously aware of its reign of terror.  As these wounds reveal themselves, I face them then turn them around into positive lessons and move on.  I can only conclude that I’ve arrived at that point in consciousness where I can now begin to acknowledge and manifest my dreams.  Finally, we have to believe that any dream can come true.

My lesson in “What Do You Want” began around the 16th of October.  At my Mom’s suggestion, I decided to participate in a holiday marketplace on November 19th.  I use to paint silk scarves and she figured I could sell them.  I decided that I wanted to feature my photography.  I began pouring through thousands of photos.  At the same time, I was taking technical classes to update my IT skills.  I found that I put more time and energy into preparing for the marketplace than the IT classes.  I was tired from looking at all of the photos and taking classes.  I decided to consult a pendulum.  Afterwards, I wondered why the hell I did that to myself.

Me:  Should I sell scarves?

Pendulum:  No

Me:  Should I sell photos?

Pendulum:  No

I got a little panicky and checked to make sure the pendulum was giving me accurate answers.  I didn’t expect these responses.  I knew there had to be something wrong with the pendulum.

Me:  Is it in my highest interest to do the marketplace?

Pendulum:  No

I’m really depressed now.

Me:  Do I have anything these ladies will buy?

Pendulum:  Yes

Me:  Ceramics?

Pendulum:  Yes

Okay, I know there has to be something wrong with this pendulum. I don’t have any recent ceramic pieces and I don’t know if people will be interested in pieces that were done 7 or 10 years ago.  I want to sell my photographs.  I was in a funk not sure what to do.  I contemplated backing out and forfeiting the table fee.  I stopped doing anything for a few days.  I asked myself, “Why would someone want to buy my photographs?  What makes them standout?  How do I compete?”  I took the pendulum seriously.  I asked the Universe for guidance.  I asked to be given an obvious sign of what to do.  I was confused and I really needed help.

Then came Sunday, October 23rd, the day I purchased a book on prosperity.  The book has a chapter that discusses goal setting and taking an action in support of the goal.  I wrote down some of my long held dreams.  I thought about the marketplace.  Since I’m currently unemployed, making some money seemed the most time sensitive goal.

The Voice asked me “What Do You Want?”  “I want to be self-employed.  I want to earn a living through photography, writing, traveling and creating visually exciting work.  I want to be free of the world of corporate rules and regulations.  Two weeks of vacation after the first year.  The same old thing day in and day out.  I enjoy computers and customer service and I could earn a decent living that way but it’s not what really gets my heart pumping.”

The Voice responded:  “If you want to make money by writing than you have to start writing and get it out into the public.  It’s not going to happen just by your thinking about it.  If you want to make money from your photographs, you’re going to have to get them out there.”  I launched my blog later that week.

I met a friend for dinner on Tuesday.  As we were leaving, the Voice urged me to go to the bathroom.  I didn’t need to go but the Voice insisted so I relented.  As I entered the powder room, on the wall were photographs.  They were a class project. What got my attention weren’t the photos themselves but the manner in which they were presented.  Ideas flooded my imagination.  I knew this was the sign that I asked for.  It‘s not that my photography isn’t good but I need to think outside the box on how to present it.  I asked my friend for a measuring tape and I took down measurements and wrote notes.  I was so energetically high that I was trembling lightly.  I had my motivation and momentum back.  I was rearing to go.  I poured over thousands of photos, again.  I chose two categories, floral and other.  I planned on limiting myself to 25 choices each.  Days passed.  I checked out supplies on the internet.  I contacted someone about turning my photos into food safe decals for dishes.  I decided to showcase, silk scarves, photos and ceramics.  I sat down to order the photo supplies when I realized that I wouldn’t have them in time.  I was devastated.  I got caught up in selecting the photos and trying to decide how to showcase them that I waited too late to order the supplies.  What was I going to do?  I ordered them anyway, thinking that maybe there’d be a miracle and they would arrive in time.  My devastation subsided as the hours passed.  I sat in silence waiting to hear some words of encouragement from the Voice.

About a day later, out of nowhere, I began to hear “work smart Danny, not hard” over and over in my head.  That’s the statement that Ed Connor, would say to his son Dan, on the Roseanne sitcom.  I kept hearing “work smart, not hard.”  The Voice told me that I could make more money selling less ceramic pieces than I could selling photographs.  The upside was the fact that I had some of my floral photographs made into food safe decals that I planned on applying to serving dishes.  It gives them a unique canvas and makes them functional to boot.  Of course there have been problems.  The decals were supposed to have been delivered this past Monday.  By Tuesday, I discovered that the package had been delivered to the wrong town.  I finally got them Wednesday.  I was able to get them on the dishes and have them fired.  There was a problem with the firing so we’re waiting for some suggestions on what to do.  I just have enough time to have one more firing before Saturday.  I’m pushing forward, trusting and believing that all will turn out well.  Regardless, I’ll take it in stride.  I realize that getting “what I want” doesn’t mean there won’t be some obstacles to overcome or some stumbling blocks.  It means that I won’t lose heart when there’s a setback, that I’ll have faith and trust that my good will come to me and my dreams will come true.

I guess the pendulum was correct when it indicated that it would be best if I sold ceramics.  I wanted to sell photographs.  It never occurred to me that I could do both with one item.  I don’t know what tomorrow will bring but I’m sure going to find out.

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About Michele

I describe myself as an "Intuitive Medium." I possess a heightened level of extra-sensory perceptive skills and I am able to communicate with "unseen" energies of consciousness. I have faced many challenges but I have been able to use these skills as tools to help me learn and grow. I think of conscious awareness as the “pause” between heartbeats. It’s a split second opportunity to be in control, to think and decide what is the appropriate response in any situation. This blog is a chronicle of my journey to living a more consciously aware, thoughtful, life.

Posted on November 18, 2011, in Spirituality and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Comments Off on What Do You Want? – Dream Big!.

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