Acceptance, Belief and Faith

These past three weeks have been filled with what I can best describe as life changing insights.  Not all of them brought a new awareness.  Some were reminders of things I had forgotten.  They all felt connected.  Last week, the connection revealed itself.

Within hours of publishing my last post, the first insight arrived.  As I read the post, I knew the choices I would make.  For years, when I needed to make a decision and I felt fear, I eventually chose to face the fear.  Fear was a “green” light not a “stop” light.  In one instance, it took 2 years for me to face a fear.  I took the leap of faith and I don’t regret it for a minute.  There’s no reason for me to change my approach, now.  I can only conclude, I was so caught up in the fears I was experiencing, I forgot how I handled fear in the past.  At some point, after remembering my approach to fear, I noticed I no longer felt any emotional stings.  The feelings had faded away.  I had an awareness of the fear but I no longer felt the sting.  Knowing what created the fears helped but it didn’t erase or stop the feelings.  It was my remembering I have a method for handling fear that stopped the feelings.  Once the fearful emotions are gone, fear loses its power and it becomes a conquerable opponent.  I went to church the following Sunday and the message spoke to me.  It was about “Nonresistance.”  It validated what I knew to be true; “stop resisting.”  I enjoyed the message so much I bought the book it was based on.

The next insight arrived courtesy of my dog.  He has issues with noises.  Someone suggested I try using treats to get him use to the sound of hand clapping.  Well, that wasn’t a good idea.  Just a couple hand claps sent him into such stress that we lost some of the ground we made over the last 2 years.  It took almost 2 weeks for him to recover and trust me again.  I spoke with my sister-in-law and she advised me to accept that he has P.T.S.D. and he’ll never get use to certain sounds.  Accept, now that’s a novel idea.  The following morning, I woke up lamenting some decisions and before I knew it, I received the following proposition:

Voice:  What if you accepted that your life and everything you’ve experienced has played out as it was supposed to?  What if you accepted that regardless of what advice you did or didn’t follow, it wouldn’t have made any difference, you would have had the same experience?  Can you accept that?  What would change, if you accepted that everything is as it is meant to be?  What if you accepted there is no right or wrong choice and it wasn’t the decision that mattered but how you handled the results of it?

I usually don’t get into “what ifs.”  They’re usually about the past and since you can’t change the past, it’s a waste of energy.   This was different.  This “what if” wasn’t about the past but about now.  What would change if I accepted this premise?  I gave it a lot of thought.

I started reading the book I bought.  It presented an additional idea to contemplate.  How do I want to express myself?  What do I want my life to express?  Between the “what ifs” and this idea, I went into mental overload.  Somehow, these separate ideas were connected.  I began wondering how I would express myself and what would my life express if I were to accept that everything is in perfect order.  To me, express means how I want to present myself to the world, what kind of example do I want to be and what do I want to demonstrate with my life.  I realized that my actions, words, how I treat myself and the way I relate to others express what I accept and believe.  After a lot of thought and reflection, I wrote the following.

Acceptance

  • What would change, if I changed my perception of my life?
  • What if I accepted that everything in my life has been in perfect order?
  • What if I accepted that I am where I am supposed to be?
  • Would I stop judging my life?
  • How would I feel?
  • How would I change?
  • What if I accepted myself as a perfect expression of the wisdom of God and Universal principle?
  • Would the self-criticism dissolve?
  • If I just let go and accepted, how would I evolve?
  • Would I love myself more?
  • Would I be kinder to myself?
  • What would I see?
  • How would I be?
  • What would fall away?
  • What would come to stay?
  • Can I accept myself without criticism, judgment and self-condemnation?
  • How would it feel to accept myself and not feel the need to defend or hide?
  • How would I express myself?
  • What would my life demonstrate?
  • What if I just accepted?

As the week progressed, I was more in tune with the idea of acceptance.  I felt free.  I didn’t realize that with acceptance comes freedom or that I was bound by resistance.  The shadow side of acceptance is resistance.  Resistance is cloaked by criticism, fear and judgment.  I continued receiving insights from the book.  It reminded me to be aware of the consciousness my actions, words and thoughts aligned with.  Was I aligned with material or spiritual consciousness?  Was I asking for guidance and allowing myself to be led or was I trying to figure things out and forge my own path?

One night, I wanted to run some errands.  I got caught up in a TV program.  I kept delaying my departure until I heard:

Voice:  What is in control here?  Don’t you have something to do?  Are you letting a TV program dictate when you can leave?

I snapped to attention and thought about it.  Was I letting a TV program control my actions?  I quickly turned it off and left.  As I was driving, the lesson began.

Voice:  As a child, you said that when you grew up, you weren’t going to let anyone control you like your parents did.  You’ve done your best to avoid being controlled, from your personal to professional life.  Yet, you are more than willing to be controlled by things.  Your appetites, your attitude about being controlled, your fears, your beliefs even TV controls you.  Is that what you want?

All of it is true.  From beginning to end, there is nothing I can deny.  Do I have to think about this too?  There were so many things I was already contemplating, now this!  I felt overwhelmed.  I didn’t want to think about another thing.  I knew if this was brought to my awareness, it was for my benefit.  I began looking at my life.  I asked, what do I let control me?  What is influencing my actions?  Is it fear?  If so, what am I afraid of?  What action do I take to face the fear?  Why am I eating this?  Is it good for me or am I giving in to a taste?  Am I leading or following?  I had another awareness to add to the list.  The thing about living a consciously aware life is you have to pay attention to yourself, be self-conscious, until life affirming thoughts and actions become second nature.  I built the consciousness I have in virtual oblivion.  Now, I’m choosing to be aware of the consciousness I rebuild.

Friday, March 3rd, the Voice threw out another proposition.

Voice: Take tomorrow and make it a want day.  Do only what you want to do not what you believe you have to, need to or should do.  Focus on what you want to do.

Well that proved to be easier said than done.  I had a lot of difficulty getting past thoughts of what I have to, need to, or should do.  I couldn’t get in touch with what I wanted to do.  I did a couple things out of habit but not desire.  It was mid-afternoon before I actually came up with a want.  I wanted a corned beef sandwich.  I drove to a deli and it was closed.  Oh well, I tried.  I watched a movie and worked on an art project.  By the end of the evening, I realized that my wants have been drowned out by what I believe I have to, need to, or should do.  I saw a connection to the work I did about being idle.  Did all the years, of basically doing nothing more than what life required, block me from being in touch with what I’d like to do?  Have I spent my days so focused on what I have to, need to or should do, that I haven’t made room for what I’d like to do?  How has that impacted my life?  Better yet, how different can my life be if I broaden my perspective to include what I’d like to do?  I could see an imbalance.  Life isn’t a list of chores to get done between birth and death.

The message that Sunday tied all the events and insights of the previous weeks and months together.  I was floored.  The Reverend asked, where does your faith lie?  What do you believe?  She wasn’t referring to religious beliefs.  She was referring to what you believe about life and about yourself.  She went on to say that your faith lies in whatever you believe.  You accept that your belief is real and true.  Your life expresses what you believe.    If you believe that you’re a failure then your life will reflect failure.  If you believe you’re a success then your life will reflect success.

Wow.  That was a bombshell.  I was humbled.  I have great faith in the existence of a Supreme Being, a Supreme Intelligence, in spiritual law, enlightenment and manifestation.  I have made choices because of my faith.  It never entered my mind to ask what I believe about myself and my life.  What do I believe about myself?  What do I believe about life?  Where does my faith lie?  When I look at my life, what beliefs does it reflect?

In a quiet moment, an interesting concept crept into my awareness:

What if I accept that whatever I believe, I have faith in and what I have faith in I accept as real and true and what I accept I express?   What if I accept that I have believed in, put my faith in, accepted things that aren’t real and true?   What if I accept that I have believed in what I haven’t wanted not in what I’ve wanted?  If I accepted beliefs that are contrary to how I want to be or how I want my life to be then there’s no reason for me to be surprised that things aren’t the way I want them.

I recognized, it’s been about what I’ve believed.  It’s been about what I’ve put my faith in as being real and true.  It’s been about the fears, judgments, criticisms and opinions I have believed.  It’s been about what I’ve believe not just about myself or my life but about others and life in general.  The silver lining is I can change my beliefs.  Once I identify a limiting belief, I can replace it with a positive life affirming belief.  I can replace it with a belief that reflects my spiritual beliefs and my wants.  There’ll no longer be a conflict between what I say I believe and what I express through word, thought and action.  There’ll no longer be an internal struggle.  I won’t have reason to berate myself for not achieving this, that or the other.

I understand the importance and power of acceptance, belief and faith.  I’ve been busy looking at myself and my life, identifying and replacing limiting false beliefs.  I’ve been surprised by some of the beliefs I’ve held.  It’s no wonder that my life isn’t quite how I’d like it to be.  If I hold a belief (subconsciously) that’s contrary to what I want, the only thing that’s going to manifest is the expression of the belief.  I’m just grateful to have the opportunity and ability to rewrite the script.  This journey continues to amaze, challenge and inspire me.

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About Michele

I describe myself as an "Intuitive Medium." I possess a heightened level of extra-sensory perceptive skills and I am able to communicate with "unseen" energies of consciousness. I have faced many challenges but I have been able to use these skills as tools to help me learn and grow. I think of conscious awareness as the “pause” between heartbeats. It’s a split second opportunity to be in control, to think and decide what is the appropriate response in any situation. This blog is a chronicle of my journey to living a more consciously aware, thoughtful, life.

Posted on March 17, 2012, in Personal Growth & Development, Spirituality and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Comments Off on Acceptance, Belief and Faith.

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