Neither Less Than Nor Greater Than But Equal Too!

Castillo del Morro


Some stories are told as they unfold and others are told after they end.  I chose to wait until I arrived at logical point in the story.  It hasn’t ended yet.

I don’t know what it is about the month of May but for the past couple of years, it seems to be the month that begins some type of life lesson.  It’s been almost a year since my life took an unexpected turn.  For my Ego, it was unexpected.  For my Soul, nothing is unexpected.  Everything was and is as it should be.  Just because I have no conscious awareness of the reason(s) why, it doesn’t mean that anything in life is ever truly unexpected.

I am an Intuitive.  There are pros and cons to being a sensitive.  One of the cons is that I can see the dynamics at work in other people’s life with greater clarity than I sometimes have with my own life.  Some of the pros are I have never questioned the existence of a life other than this physical one and I have a different perspective, hence the title of this blog, on the reason for this life that we are experiencing.  That being said, whenever I find life presenting an unexpected challenge the questions I ask myself are; What lesson(s) is this situation presenting and how can my Soul grow through this experience. This perspective gives me the wherewithal to allow the process to unfold and reveal to me the lesson(s) to be learned.  My intuitive skills do not enable me to sail through life unscathed.  This past year had me questioning my own perception skills and why they seemed to fail me. My perspective gives me strength while I seem to be lost in my Ego’s confusion and it was a powerful tool in dealing with this past year.  As time moved on, I was shown why my skills “seemed” to fail me and what streams of consciousness needed to be changed.

My new series of  lessons appeared to begin last May when I met a new acquaintance.  I approached or I thought I approached this person as a peer as someone that I could have a friendship with but, by August, I realized that all that glitters isn’t gold.  I asked, what led me to try and forge a friendship with this person.  I wondered why others saw what I did not.  The answers weren’t forthcoming but I knew in my heart it wasn’t in my highest interest and it was time to let it go.  I did something that I’d never done before.  I cut all ties without a word or an explanation.  That was the hardest part.  I want to be understood so I usually offer an explanation for my actions.  The Voice told me under no circumstance was I to reach out and explain myself.  I felt like a duck out of water.  I was obedient to the guidance I received.  I looked for the gifts this acquaintanceship brought me.  It was through obedience and looking for the gifts that the answers began to arrive.

I use to say, whenever I encountered someone that possessed a talent or skill that I admired, “I want to be like you when I grow up.”  It was my way of paying a compliment.  I didn’t realize that inherent in that comment was a belief that they were more than me that I was less than them and that I didn’t possess skills or talents.  As the answers streamed into my consciousness, I realized that sometimes the words we use and the statements we make are a good indicator of how we feel and think about ourselves.  I could hear myself saying or thinking; “She is, he is, you are better than me at ______.  I want to be like you when I grow up.”  All these years, I actually have been telling myself that others are better than me because they possess a skill that I don’t and that is not true.  I have been diminishing my self-worth.  I meant to say “She is, he is, you are better at _______ than I am” and that is true.  Is a surgeon better than me because they can operate and I can’t?  No, they’re not.  They happen to possess a skill that I don’t.  It also works in the reverse.  Am I better than anyone because I possess extraordinary precognitive skills?  No, I am not.  By the time all of this really sank into my conscious, I was floored.  It took me a moment to get my arms around this revelation but it was an important and necessary lesson.  I have stopped saying “I want to be like you when I grow up” not only because of my new understanding but because I said it to someone who one day acted in a manner that was the polar opposite of how I would act and I said to myself, “I don’t want to be anything like them at all.”

There’s a little known and talked about phenomenon that many people are affected by but not aware of; energetic attachments.  It usually happens when a person experiences a severe physical and/or emotional trauma.  The person’s consciousness vacates their body and an outside energetic force will attach itself to the person’s body in an effort to keep the body alive until the person’s consciousness returns.  I’m not talking about “possession” like the movie The Exorcist.  Have you heard of someone being afraid of the water because they fear they will drown, even though they never “almost” drowned?  Maybe someone’s afraid of heights even though they never fell from a height or they have an unexplained irrational fear of something they never experienced.  They may be dealing with an energetic attachment.  I’ve experienced it.  My irrational fear was of falling from a great height.  Whenever I would stand on a high exterior balcony or sit in very steep seats at an arena, I would have this fear of tumbling forward.  I freaked out at the Eiffel Tower because the elevator is glass and starts on the outside.  I was in tears by the time we reached the top.  I finally recognized that I actually was experiencing a compelling curiosity to know what it would feel like to fall and hit the ground, water or whatever.  That’s what frightened me.  Once I learned about energetic attachments, I did some investigation to determine if that’s what I was experiencing.  I knew what needed to be done to remedy the situation.  But like an onion, just because an attachment is removed doesn’t mean there aren’t others or that it can’t happen again.

It was the end of August when the acquaintance mentioned they thought I had an energetic attachment.  They had recently encountered a person dealing with an attachment and worked with them to release it.  Their recount of the meeting truly sounded like something from a horror movie and I wanted no part of that.  I contacted a very dear and trusted friend and explained the situation.  They agreed, with the acquaintance, that I had an attachment and gave me the name of a person to go see.  This person not only helped but they taught me more about energetic attachments and a more appropriate way to handle similar issues.  I am truly grateful for that gift.

September rolled around and I thought I would get a break from the lessons.  That didn’t happen.  I had an opportunity to see a woman that truly possesses an extraordinary gift of insight.  The information I get from her is unlike any I’ve ever gotten and we have to use a translator.  It’s not fortune-telling or psychic readings; it’s deeper and more profound.  It is information that helps me to remember why I’m here.  She told me that I was supposed to be a twin this lifetime and that the other soul chose, at the last minute, not to reincarnate due to some type of illness they would’ve suffered from.  Before my mind could grasp what she said, I broke down.  I don’t remember how long and hard I cried but I was done.  It went straight to the core of my being.  My Soul knew the truth of her words.  I felt like I was cracked open like a walnut.  That was the image I got.  My heart was the meat of the nut and there was this hard shell protecting it.  All my life, I longed for a sister.  I mean I LONGED for a SISTER.  My Mom is a twin, my brothers have each other, and my cousins are sisters.  Learning the reason for that longing was almost too much to bear.  I now had a conscious awareness of this deep deep void.  A void, on a subconscious level, I’d been trying to fill.  It answered so many questions.  There is no one, not my mother, aunt, friends, relatives or acquaintances that could fill the void.  I now understood one of the reasons why I didn’t always see a person’s truth and allowed them more time and access than was in my highest interest.  Another reason could be karma that needed to be addressed.  It took months for me to come to terms with it all.  I went through a period of deep mourning.  I bought a pair of dolls so I could symbolically have my twin sister with me.  As painful and emotionally devastating as it was I was able to see and appreciate the gift.  I was freed from the void.  I was freed from the unrealized and unacknowledged loss.  It no longer lurked in my subconscious.

The unexpected makes sense when we stop and look in life’s rearview mirror. Lessons learned!


About Michele

I describe myself as an "Intuitive Medium." I possess a heightened level of extra-sensory perceptive skills and I am able to communicate with "unseen" energies of consciousness. I have faced many challenges but I have been able to use these skills as tools to help me learn and grow. I think of conscious awareness as the “pause” between heartbeats. It’s a split second opportunity to be in control, to think and decide what is the appropriate response in any situation. This blog is a chronicle of my journey to living a more consciously aware, thoughtful, life.

Posted on May 18, 2013, in Personal Growth & Development, Spirituality and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Comments Off on Neither Less Than Nor Greater Than But Equal Too!.

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