It’s intriguing, the way lessons are presented to me. Like a jigsaw puzzle, without the picture, the latest lesson came in pieces. I put the pieces together, waiting for the picture to be revealed.
This lesson began like the previous ones. I was completely unaware of what I was about to encounter. It began with the innocent act of looking for a financial document. I went through numerous piles of papers, drawers filled to the brim and a file cabinet. I laughed as I found things that were decades old. Among the many papers I squirreled away, I found a final exam and class notes from 1985, unopened Christmas cards from 2007 and a list of reservation codes from a previous job. I trashed the outdated and obsolete items. I kept important documents, product brochures, and miscellaneous items. You know, those “just in case” type of things. One of the “just in case” documents was the list of reservation codes. These codes might come in handy, if I ever interview for a travel agent position. It was during a trip to fill the recycle bin when I heard the Voice.
Voice: Why are you keeping those reservation codes?
Me: In case I end up interviewing for a travel agent position.
Voice: You want to be a travel agent?
Me: I like the travel industry. I wouldn’t mind doing it again if I could work as an outside agent but I don’t want to be an employee of a company.
Voice: You’ve never listed travel agent as a desire or dream job. Keeping that sheet “just in case” does not support what you really want to manifest in your life. The act of holding on “just in case” symbolizes that you don’t believe, have faith in, accept that you can attain your dream job. As long as this is true, your dreams will not manifest. Remember what you accept you express. It’s better to keep and surround yourself with items that support your dreams and desires not items that support your doubts and fears. Read the rest of this entry
Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve continued to address issues in my life that I haven’t quite understood yet I wanted to change. I looked into the whys of my idle behavior and my resistance to opening my mail (snail and email.)
I learned that my idleness came in part from how, as a child, I emotionally identified and connected with my Dad, the introvert, the loner. After work, he’d come home and relax, sit in front of the TV with a drink and his cigarettes. Subconsciously, I decided this was the life model I was going to use once I became an adult and boy, oh boy did I.
Regarding my resistance to dealing with correspondence, I was shown an earlier lifetime in which I received a letter with “heartbreaking” news. I blamed the letter and never opened another one. I was able to talk to that fragment of myself and explain the various ways that people now communicate and that it’s more likely that “heartbreaking” news is now received via a phone call than a letter. I explained that the letter was blamed for the message. You know, don’t kill the messenger. I obviously carried that pain forward as a fear and it manifested in this life as a reluctance to check my mail and eventually email. I often wondered why I felt fear especially when it came to email. It was interesting to learn the reason behind the why.
I was talking with my Mom after the last post and she raised a question that has definitely given me food for thought: When you know why you feel a certain way about something, does the knowing trump the feeling? Do you go with what you know or how you feel? Read the rest of this entry