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Subtleties Can Have a Profound Impact

It’s hard to believe it’s been almost 3 months since my last post.  Almost immediately after the last post, the Voice spoke.

Voice:  It’s time for you to start applying what you’ve learned.  You could continue writing about profound revelations but it’s time for you to apply some of that “enlightened” knowledge to your life. 

That wasn’t what I expected to hear but with any course of study, sooner or later you’re going to take a test.  I had no idea how to apply all that had been revealed or where to begin.  I was scared.  Slowly, the Universe presented opportunities for me to apply what I learned.

One day, I was feeling sad, for no apparent reason.  Tears began to fall.  Images of my teenage years flashed through my mind.  I remembered how much fun I had hanging with my friends, riding bikes, playing cards and my first boyfriend.  I realized, I was feeling sad because of having to “let go” of my past.  I felt that I’d no longer have a connection to who I was.  The “new” me would have no connection to those memories.  I was confused.  I had no idea why I believed that applying these new insights would require me to leave fond memories behind.  I felt I had to disconnect from all that I use to be and did.  I was drowning in a sea of sadness.  As my tears continued to fall, I heard the Voice.

Voice:  You don’t have to let go of all of your memories.  You only need to let go of your past.

Me:  I don’t understand.  How do I let go of my past and still hold on to my memories?  Aren’t they one and the same?

Voice:  The past is continually being created.  Every millisecond creates a past.  Memories are mental records of past events.  You don’t have to let go of fond memories.  They created happy and comforting thoughts and emotions.  You are being asked to let go of the negative emotions and thoughts created by some past events.  It’s a subtle but important distinction.  You may or may not remember those past events.   Read the rest of this entry

Failure at Life?

Wall - Havana, Cuba 2009

"Wall - Old Havana" Havana Cuba 2009

I was on the pity pot a couple of weeks ago.  Unable to recognize any tangible accomplishments in my personal life.  I began to lament on whether or not I’ve failed at this life.  I was beating myself up, comparing my life to what appears to be the norm of our society.  Let’s see… I should be married or at least divorced with children and probably grandchildren.  Oh yeah and I should have some ink somewhere.  None of this is true for me.   I’m single, no children, currently unemployed and there’s no significant other in my life.  I began to wonder, “What have I done wrong?  What opportunities did I miss? Who will be there for me when I am unable to do for myself?”

Once my Ego could no longer find anything to beat me up about, my mind was quiet and in that silence I heard some stunning questions: “Why are you looking at your life through mankind’s eyes?  Are you here to meet mankind’s expectations or are you here to meet God’s expectations?  The weight of those questions really slapped me in the face.  I believe that I am here to grow in compassion, love and understanding, to grow spiritually to elevate my Soul.  Based on that belief, I have accomplished quite a bit.  I am more compassionate, loving and my understanding has grown exponentially.  I might not be able to see these accomplishments in tangible forms but I know I have achieved them.  I realized that it’s unfair for me to compare my life with the goals seemingly set by mankind because they are transitory and often times arbitrary.  The heaviness on my heart lifted as I stepped into this new awareness.  I acknowledged what’s really important to me.  I may not be married or divorced or have children or grandchildren and I surely won’t be unemployed or unattached the remainder of this life.  None of that really matters.  What really matters, what’s important to me, is that I have grown in compassion, love and understanding for myself and mankind and that I continue to grow.  At least, that’s my perspective!

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