Some stories are told as they unfold and others are told after they end. I chose to wait until I arrived at logical point in the story. It hasn’t ended yet.
I don’t know what it is about the month of May but for the past couple of years, it seems to be the month that begins some type of life lesson. It’s been almost a year since my life took an unexpected turn. For my Ego, it was unexpected. For my Soul, nothing is unexpected. Everything was and is as it should be. Just because I have no conscious awareness of the reason(s) why, it doesn’t mean that anything in life is ever truly unexpected.
I am an Intuitive. There are pros and cons to being a sensitive. One of the cons is that I can see the dynamics at work in other people’s life with greater clarity than I sometimes have with my own life. Some of the pros are I have never questioned the existence of a life other than this physical one and I have a different perspective, hence the title of this blog, on the reason for this life that we are experiencing. That being said, whenever I find life presenting an unexpected challenge the questions I ask myself are; What lesson(s) is this situation presenting and how can my Soul grow through this experience. This perspective gives me the wherewithal to allow the process to unfold and reveal to me the lesson(s) to be learned. My intuitive skills do not enable me to sail through life unscathed. This past year had me questioning my own perception skills and why they seemed to fail me. My perspective gives me strength while I seem to be lost in my Ego’s confusion and it was a powerful tool in dealing with this past year. As time moved on, I was shown why my skills “seemed” to fail me and what streams of consciousness needed to be changed. Read the rest of this entry →
These past three weeks have been filled with what I can best describe as life changing insights. Not all of them brought a new awareness. Some were reminders of things I had forgotten. They all felt connected. Last week, the connection revealed itself.
Within hours of publishing my last post, the first insight arrived. As I read the post, I knew the choices I would make. For years, when I needed to make a decision and I felt fear, I eventually chose to face the fear. Fear was a “green” light not a “stop” light. In one instance, it took 2 years for me to face a fear. I took the leap of faith and I don’t regret it for a minute. There’s no reason for me to change my approach, now. I can only conclude, I was so caught up in the fears I was experiencing, I forgot how I handled fear in the past. At some point, after remembering my approach to fear, I noticed I no longer felt any emotional stings. The feelings had faded away. I had an awareness of the fear but I no longer felt the sting. Knowing what created the fears helped but it didn’t erase or stop the feelings. It was my remembering I have a method for handling fear that stopped the feelings. Once the fearful emotions are gone, fear loses its power and it becomes a conquerable opponent. I went to church the following Sunday and the message spoke to me. It was about “Nonresistance.” It validated what I knew to be true; “stop resisting.” I enjoyed the message so much I bought the book it was based on.
The next insight arrived courtesy of my dog. He has issues with noises. Someone suggested I try using treats to get him use to the sound of hand clapping. Well, that wasn’t a good idea. Just a couple hand claps sent him into such stress that we lost some of the ground we made over the last 2 years. It took almost 2 weeks for him to recover and trust me again. I spoke with my sister-in-law and she advised me to accept that he has P.T.S.D. and he’ll never get use to certain sounds. Accept, now that’s a novel idea. The following morning, I woke up lamenting some decisions and before I knew it, I received the following proposition:
Voice: What if you accepted that your life and everything you’ve experienced has played out as it was supposed to? What if you accepted that regardless of what advice you did or didn’t follow, it wouldn’t have made any difference, you would have had the same experience? Can you accept that? What would change, if you accepted that everything is as it is meant to be? What if you accepted there is no right or wrong choice and it wasn’t the decision that mattered but how you handled the results of it? Read the rest of this entry →
The past two weeks have been really quiet. There haven’t been any overwhelming emotional episodes. As Friday, Jan 6th, approached, I began to panic because I didn’t have anything to write for the next post. The prior emotional upheavals gave me plenty to think about and insights to share. Now that my life had quieted down, the lessons and insights seemed to come to a halt. It gave me the opportunity to question my motivation and commitment to writing the blog. Though, I couldn’t answer all the whys I did know what I wanted. I don’t want the blog to be a weekly public diary summarizing my daily life. I want to share insights and lessons I’m learning. I want to be an example of a person that tries to live a conscious life. For me, that means that I am a person trying to live my life from the perspective that I am totally responsible for the quality and character of my life. There are no accidents or coincidences. I am not a victim but a student, learning through the experiences that arise from interacting and relating to others. Nevertheless, I was down on myself for not having a post. I was beating myself up pretty bad by late Saturday evening. It was between mental beatings that I heard the Voice in a very low whisper say, “Let it go.” Read the rest of this entry →