Monthly Archives: October 2011

Failure at Life?

Wall - Havana, Cuba 2009

"Wall - Old Havana" Havana Cuba 2009

I was on the pity pot a couple of weeks ago.  Unable to recognize any tangible accomplishments in my personal life.  I began to lament on whether or not I’ve failed at this life.  I was beating myself up, comparing my life to what appears to be the norm of our society.  Let’s see… I should be married or at least divorced with children and probably grandchildren.  Oh yeah and I should have some ink somewhere.  None of this is true for me.   I’m single, no children, currently unemployed and there’s no significant other in my life.  I began to wonder, “What have I done wrong?  What opportunities did I miss? Who will be there for me when I am unable to do for myself?”

Once my Ego could no longer find anything to beat me up about, my mind was quiet and in that silence I heard some stunning questions: “Why are you looking at your life through mankind’s eyes?  Are you here to meet mankind’s expectations or are you here to meet God’s expectations?  The weight of those questions really slapped me in the face.  I believe that I am here to grow in compassion, love and understanding, to grow spiritually to elevate my Soul.  Based on that belief, I have accomplished quite a bit.  I am more compassionate, loving and my understanding has grown exponentially.  I might not be able to see these accomplishments in tangible forms but I know I have achieved them.  I realized that it’s unfair for me to compare my life with the goals seemingly set by mankind because they are transitory and often times arbitrary.  The heaviness on my heart lifted as I stepped into this new awareness.  I acknowledged what’s really important to me.  I may not be married or divorced or have children or grandchildren and I surely won’t be unemployed or unattached the remainder of this life.  None of that really matters.  What really matters, what’s important to me, is that I have grown in compassion, love and understanding for myself and mankind and that I continue to grow.  At least, that’s my perspective!

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